With or without U2

U2 is a very popular band- It seems like everyone is into them. But if you actually take the time to listen to what they say you'd think their name should be changed to UTool...

With or without you
The sheer schizophrenia of this song is pretty epic. Like at first he's complaining about her being cold and standoffish, and then he's saying stuff like:

"Through the storm we reach the shore, you give it all but I want more"
...What a guy. She's giving this her all but it's just not good enough.

"Slight of hand and a twist of fate, on a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait... without you" ?
Who are you talking to? Tense switch man, tense switch man!

"And you give yourself away 2x
And you give 2x
And you give yourself away...

... I can't live with or without you"

This comes right on the heels of saying "She's got me with nothing to win and nothing left to lose"
Sounds like there's something to lose, but then again I was always the guy who was just happy to have a glass at all regardless of content.

Elevation... with Lara CROFT!
The lyrics to this song just suck. I don't need to explain why, just read them...
And what's up with the music video/Tomb Raider crossover? Who's idea was that?

Pride
For some reason the lyrics say "Early morning April fourth... shot rings out in the Memphis sky"
King was assassinated at 6:00pm... late evening... why would you not even bother to look that up before writing a song about it?

Here's a picture of someone headbutting Bono in revenge for
how stupid some of their lyrics are...

Beautiful day... really?
"You're out of luck...
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck...
And you're not moving anywhere"
Ok, so is the reason that you had to care that the traffic is stuck? Cause that's a pretty crappy reason to care... orrrr is that just a random incomplete thought?

"You thought you found a friend...
To take you out of this place
Someone you
could
lend... a hand...
In return for grace"
Wait, wait, wait, in return for grace... but grace itself is an unwarranted action of benevolence. You can't give grace expecting to get something out of it. Also he flies out of any semblance of the time signature/lyrical meter and throws the words awkwardly into place one by one.

"You love this town...
Even if that doesn't ring true"
Why was the first statement even made if it was just going to be retracted/disclaimed?

(I want to go on record saying that the bridge is actually well written. No mixed metaphors or confusing quasi biblical references... the two at the end make sense)

"It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away" 
TOO LATE!

In conclusion,
Stay fresh!

(not fresh)

Road to worthless (Signs of the times)

So dashing... are those clouds above his head or birds??

Dear homo sapiens, I feel the need today to talk about signs.
(And no, I don't mean the marginally ok, yet overrated Mel Gibson film.)
I'd like to preface this by saying that I mostly blame the government for the following:

Crossing signs (or 'xing' signs for some reason... exing! ... which sound like what you plan on doing when you want to break off a relationship):
Back to my original point, this can be further broken down into two sub categories:
(1) Animal crossings: Thinking of all the numerous deer crossing signs I've seen (which is a lot #illinoisprobs)  I have racked (#lamepun) my brain and I don't think I've seen more than 1 or maybe 2 deer that have actually been within a mile of a deer crossing sign, and that's out of the hundreds of deer encounters I've had... that's not a good ratio at all, and I can state for a fact that I've never seen a bear at a bear crossing... What's the point of a sign, if the things it's for is NEVER FREAKING THERE! ...sort of like the lions at Chicago zoo's... -_- ...
(2)People crossings (ped xing's): This seems somewhat silly to me because first off: ped xing... really? and second off ped xing???... but honestly you need to stripe the road, put in a signal AND a sign to tell you people will try to cross this road? I mean it just stands to reason, you're in the middle of a city or town... inhabited by people who will want to go places! Worthless sign!

el tanko es tan leeennnnto!

Slow moving vehicle: This one truly baffles me, and I can't understand anything about it. Why do you need a sign to tell you that the combine that you're stuck behind is moving slowly? ... It just sits there, taunting you, all bright and orange... and since when did orange mean slow? Or does it mean vehicle and corner-less triangle means slow? itruelydk

Bump signs: I'm not sure if this is just and Illinois thing (#illinoisprobs #twoforonesale) but here, our road crews, when they find a spot in the road with a bump that needs to be evened out, they send in for a sign to put there to let you know there's a bump there (as if you haven't already hit it 50 times this month on your way to work) instead of actually working on fixing the problem... Next time I see a fire spreading, I think I'll just put a sign up and walk away, BOOM problem solved!

Missplaced braille: I'm pretty sure people are just trying to see how much they can get away with here. Like how far away can you put the sign from something so the blind will have to journey on an epic quest just to find the sign, which is what lets them know that the thing they're looking for exists in the first place... They're just going to end up asking someone anyway, be honest. Also hanging signs with braille are worthless as I have yet to see a blind person walking with their hands stretched into the air. The only thing more strange and worthless than this is non-raised, printed braille, and yes... yes I have seen this too... amazing.

They put these by short bus stops... True story.